To build a strong foundation and deepen your relationship with God, you must practice it daily, especially on the days you don’t feel like it. That’s when it matters most.
“Hey, say a prayer for me, will you?” a quiet voice caught my ear as I rushed past some coworkers in my haste to get out of the workplace. I was late clocking out, and late with where I needed to be.
It was Wednesday, the day I leave work early to fulfill a personal commitment: every Wednesday, I go to my church (which, in the evenings, is dimmed and empty except for other people praying silently) to spend a holy hour with God in quiet prayer.
Most of my coworkers are aware (they find it amusing). I briefly glanced back in the general direction of the voice and was surprised to find someone looking at me with an expression of almost sadness.
Still not entirely convinced the question had been sincere, but now hesitating, I asked, “…what?”
The coworker slid away from the other people he’d been talking to, and when he got close enough to me, repeated under his breath, “Can you pray for me tonight, when you go to church?”
“Of course,” I replied, in an equally low tone, “But you know, you can always reach out to God whenever you’d like. I’m sure He’d love to hear from you.”
A sad smile crossed over his face before he turned away, “He doesn’t want to hear from me anymore.”
My heart ached as I watched him walk away, but.. I’ve been there.
Maybe you have too.
Maybe you’re convinced God doesn’t want to hear from you anymore either. Not at this point in your life. Not after all you’ve done; to Him, to others, to yourself. He can’t possibly love you anymore. Not you.
those thoughts are not from God; that’s the devil in your ear.
Some intrusive thoughts are our own, stemming from our own mangled subconsciouses and trauma-impacted brains. They occur without warning, and can either be because of a sudden external trigger, or because of an underlying mental health condition, like depression or anxiety. Oftentimes, it’s both.
…but there’s another source of intrusive thoughts, and that’s our spiritual enemy.
In the war that the devil has waged against humanity, you think he’s not going to attack your mind? Our minds are unfathomably powerful; our thoughts are a constant undercurrent in our lives, always narrating opinions about ourselves and others, easily influenced by pain and pleasure, and all too easily distracted.
In the war that the devil has waged against women, you think he’s not going to attack your heart? A woman’s heart, emboldened by the love of God, is intensely powerful; it becomes a beacon of light, a garden of life, a wellspring of support, a haven of trust and safety. A woman’s heart, transformed by the love of God, becomes a manifestation of His love on earth.
In the war that the devil has waged against men, you think he’s not going to attack your strength? A man’s strength, fortified by the love of God, is profoundly powerful; it becomes a lighthouse of leadership, a pillar of protection, a fount of virtue, a haven of trust and safety. A man’s strength, transformed by the love of God, becomes a manifestation of His love on earth.
The devil has been waging war against humanity since the Fall, when that first act of disobedience unleashed sin and suffering and pain and death into the world. The enemy sent his legions of devils to every corner of this earth to torment God’s children in every way possible: war, famine, poverty, addiction, crime and violence, homelessness, addiction, sex and slave trafficking, political corruption, injustice…
He knows every one of your most vulnerable weaknesses, most secret temptations, most painful traumas, and he’ll prick and poke and prod them all, without mercy. Anything to pull you away from Love.
…including, infiltrating your thoughts.
so, what are you supposed to do?
First, understand that you are not alone in experiencing this mental struggle, these fears, this anxiety.
God’s perfect goodness, His infinite love and boundless mercy are gifts none of us can fully comprehend, and that lack of understanding can make our brains short-circuit. As humans born post-Fall, we can only give imperfect love (so imperfect love is all we can imagine), but He is not limited as we are.
Understand, also, that this anxiety is a spiritual condition you’ve inherited from our First Parents.
In the form of a snake, the devil finds Eve in the garden (Genesis 3), but doesn’t immediately tempt her. First, he plants doubt in her heart about God’s trustworthiness and then goes further, claiming that what God has asked of them was not out of love and goodness, but out of control and power.
Eve’s fear won. Adam gave into his, as well, and as a result of the Fall, the rest of us entered this world with some level of spiritual doubt pre-programmed into our souls. It is, unfortunately, part of our journey.
Second, remind yourself that these thoughts — “you’re unworthy,” “He doesn’t love you, “you’ll never be good enough,” “just give up already” — are more lies, from the Father of Lies (John 8:44; the devil).
He may get you to obsessively replay memories of past sins to affirm your unworthiness; he may lead your imagination to fantasize about future temptations (then make you feel bad about doing so); he may fill your mind with relentless accusations, and increasingly instill in you the habit of not trusting God.
If the devil can get you to believe you are alone, unloved, and no one is coming to save you… well, that’s when people run, with shattered hearts and broken minds, right into his arms. He’ll comfort you with all the pleasures of the world, all while purring in your ear, “See, I told you… God never loved you at all.“
Stay vigilant, my friend. Don’t believe every thought you have. When in doubt, when attacked by fear, run to our Father in prayer and beg His protection, ask Him to fight for you — He’ll win every time.
Third, root yourself in the truths of who God is, and how He sees you. Spend more quality time with Him, go into His word, surround yourself with people of faith, go out into nature and immerse yourself in the fullness of His creation. Let go of the weight of the devil’s lies. Allow yourself to experience Love.
but.. I don’t feel like God loves me.
Ahh, yes. Feelings.
One of the most dangerous idols the devil has placed in our modern world: the worship of emotion.
Emotions are natural and healthy — in this context, though, we’re talking about the worship of emotions.
Humans are creatures with reason, intellect, a conscience, and a soul. God gave us all of those faculties to use to become our truest selves, to glorify Him and bring Him joy through that holy flourishing (He’s a good Father, He wants us to succeed). To then go out into the world with our spiritual healing so we can bring other lost souls to Him, and they can also experience that incredible transformation.
But if the devil can get you to worship your feelings above all else, he’ll succeed in reducing you to worse than an animal — animals are creatures without reason or intellect (though many exhibit empathy), led by urges (survival instincts) alone.
You would be worse because you would have willfully chosen to reject the use of your higher faculties.
If the enemy can reduce you to less than an animal through your actions, you’ll form physical habits and mental thought patterns that make it more and more difficult to remember that you… aren’t one.
He’ll chip away at your mind so that you forget you are a daughter or son of God; so you forget you were made in the image of God; that you were created on purpose, for a purpose; that you are not a “one in a million,” but one in forever. The devil wants you blind, dumb, and despairing, following nothing but your primal instincts and slothful lusts, so that you have no intelligent defenses against his manipulations.
Aaand it’s working.
Most of us are just doing what we feel when we feel like it, and drowning in the consequences of numbly following our urges:
- heightened anxiety, depression, and loneliness
- inability to communicate clearly and calmly
- a lack of emotional intelligence
- extended mental immaturity
- the abuse of substances (weed, alcohol, nicotine vapes, pharma drugs)
Following your heart isn’t a Biblical practice, it’s a secular mantra — one that is very dangerous, because it replaces God as the leading authority in our lives with ourselves. While it’s usually well-intended when given out as advice, it’s a shallow sentiment and directly contradicts how God has called us to live: is in alignment with His perfect will, not in indulgence of our own flawed one.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own intelligence.” –Proverbs 3:5
“Cursed is the man who trusts in human beings, who makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord.” –Jeremiah 17:5
“The things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile. For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, unchastity, theft, false witness, blasphemy.” –Matthew 15:18-19
“More tortuous than anything is the human heart, beyond remedy; who can understand it?” –Jeremiah 17:9
The heart is fickle. Emotions are unreliable. Many situations may physically or emotionally feel good, but are actually destructive to our lives and our souls, which is why He teaches us to surrender our hearts and wills to Him; He is all-good, all-knowing, and all-perfect in what He desires for us — we are not.
but.. it seems like other people feel Him.
You are likely one of two types of people reading this article right now: 1) someone who has never experienced a “spiritual high” and are questioning your faith because of it, and 2) someone who has experienced a spiritual high, but are now trying to figure out why it’s gone and how to get it back.
Well, if you’ve never experienced a spiritual high, welcome to most of the Christians out there. Now you know. Gasp. We are choosing, quite unsensationally, every day, to practice our faith even when we don’t feel like it; to love God even when we don’t feel His love in return; to go to church on Sundays, even when we’d rather sleep in; to choose Him, to keep our eyes on Heaven, even when we’re being dragged down.
Now, for you who believe you have experienced a spiritual high… be careful. Yes, it may have come from God as a beautiful gift, a taste of His all-consuming love, a glimpse of Heaven, to inspire you on your faith journey. Know also, though, it could have come as a manipulation from the devil, to get you to hyper-fixate on the emotion, thus triggering you to abandon your faith once the emotion inevitably fades.
Do not give way to paranoia about this. Rather, do not hold so tightly onto those emotional experiences; be grateful for them, in case they are from God, but let them go just as easily, in case they aren’t.
Hold tight, instead, to the constant truths of our faith, the consistency of prayer, the discipline of love.
Choose to believe; choose to trust. Even if you don’t feel any differently at the end of this post.
