You’re not the only Christian struggling with these addicting sins. With a strong faith, consistent physical discipline, and a lot of grace, God will set you free.
I was barely 10 years old the first time I was exposed to pornography. It was the early 2000s, and our home had a family computer we could all use; ad-blockers weren’t very popular, or maybe didn’t even exist yet. I’d gotten online (without permission) to search for something innocent, but ended up on phishing website that had about 17 porno ads pop up within 2 seconds of the home page loading.
It wasn’t until I was about 15 years old and had been struggling with a now-deeply embedded addiction to pornography and masturbation for half a decade, when I started taking my faith a bit more seriously, that I started hearing the words “porn” and “masturbation” being used in the same sentence as “sin.”
I’d always had a slight feeling that what I was doing was wrong (feeling guilt or shame afterward), even though no one had ever taught me to believe it was wrong. I grew up in a loosely but consistently Christian household, but we didn’t openly talk about those things. The only real exposure I had to this topic outside of my experience was hearing about it through secular peers, who openly embraced it.
So… I embraced it too (but secretly). I indulged in it whenever I wanted to, and developed both a mental dependence on it (using it for anxiety, insomnia, loneliness) and a physical addiction to it (compulsive need for more, an inability to go long without it).
The enemy was slow-dripping me with the poison of, don’t focus on the guilt, focus on the pleasure. It nagged at my conscience though, and that irritated me. I’d think to myself, what’s the big deal? Is it even a big deal? Everyone does it. They seem a lot happier and less stressed than I am. Is it really a sin?
Yes. I believe He taught us enough about chastity and lust and self-control and discipline in the Bible that we can conclude pornography and masturbation are both rooted in lust, inherently selfish, and sinful.
First, we define lust.
Sexual arousal in and of itself is not evil; it’s awesome.
It’s how we were designed, by God Himself — on purpose. Our sexuality was designed to include another person, though; a man’s body is designed to enter, a woman’s body is designed to receive. God designed us perfectly, so that we could wholeheartedly give, exchange, and savor the gifts of our sexuality within the covenant of marriage, a lifelong union, in an environment of physical safety and emotional stability.
Lust is the distortion of that arousal. It twists the natural, holy desire from “I want to give you all that I have” to “I want to take everything you have.” It’s all about what you want now, what you can get.
Looking at someone through the lens of lust dissolves their personhood, and reduces the person into an object to be used for your own sexual gratification. Pornography is a glorification of that lust.
Now, we address porn.
DEFINITION: pornography is sexually explicit subject material (real people or computer-generated, in the forms of writing, audio, video, gaming, etc.) that is intended to sexually arouse the audience.
The intense stimulation that pornography triggers in the brain causes a ‘reprogramming’ of your thought processes, behavioral patterns, and sexual preferences in the same way that consuming drugs rewires your brain to crave, compulsively need, and constantly seek out a more intense high than the last.
The ‘more intense high’ in pornography is consuming more extreme sexual perversions. The initial thrill of heterosexual missionary sex just won’t do it for you after a while. You might not even be aware of how deeply your addiction has taken root until you’re suddenly faced with thousands of vile images; levels of depravity you couldn’t have ever imagined existed. Things you won’t be able to unsee.
And yet, so many of us are unable to turn away, because it’s become an addiction now, you need it, and the only way you can get your fix and get off is to consume that new, more toxic level of perversion.
It will turn into a primal craving, a constant hunger that is never satisfied; you might find yourself racked with guilt, but unable to stop; you might find it distorting your view of people you love, and end up pushing them away because that’s easier than stopping; you might find yourself unable to be in a healthy, romantic relationship. You might develop low self-esteem, deeper levels of loneliness, and depression.
“Because porn is self-centered and self-serving, it doesn’t require that husbands be lovers of their wives. In the counterfeit world of porn, sex simply involves an image or video, masturbation, and orgasm. The sexual arousal is immediate and gratification is instant — it’s all about personal pleasure. In fantasyland, it’s easy to pursue a perfectly air-brushed woman who acts like a nymphomaniac, never has a headache, needs no foreplay, and requires no ongoing relationship. Porn rewires the brain to focus on you, not on intimacy.” —How Pornography Impacts Marriage
To summarize, pornography is…
— the glorification of lust, which is condemned repeatedly in the Bible (Galatians 5:19-21, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, Matthew 5:28, Colassions 3:5, to name a few)
— a twisted celebration of sexual immorality (adultery, fornication, homosexuality, polyamory, etc.)
— the normalization of violence, perverted relationships (incest, underage, etc.), derogatory behavior
— the distortion of one of God’s most sacred, powerful gifts (the sexual union between man and woman)
— a grave sin against human dignity and chastity (human objectification, degradation, fueling lust, etc.)
And I’ll be honest, it was pretty easy for me to jump on board the “porn is evil” train, because… you can totally masturbate without watching (or reading) porn, right? And that’s not nearly as bad, right?
Then, there’s masturbation.
Alright, so lust is a sin, pornography is evil, and masturbation… supposedly has health benefits?
Well, that’s not entirely wrong, which makes it all the more difficult to embrace the “masturbation is a sin” doctrine. The truth is, on a purely biological (morality aside) level, orgasms do have a range of benefits: they lower inflammation in the body, help you sleep deeper, improve your mood, and can even provide some level of pain relief as your brain releases more pleasure hormones over pain signals.
And those of you reading this who have had an orgasm… oof. You know. God gave us an awesome gift.
Here’s the thing, though — we’re more than just a body, so we’re called to act above mere instinct.
We are not like the animals, whose lives are dictated entirely by their base impulses of eating, drinking, sleeping, and procreating; who cannot deviate from their primal nature, to rationalize good versus evil, to understand ethics or morality or God or salvation. They cannot choose to live any way but by instinct.
We’re also not like the angels, who are spiritual beings without bodies; they are not human now and never were, and likewise, we are not angels and won’t ever be (we don’t become them when we die).
No, we are human. We are a unique creation, made of both a body and a soul; our First Parents (Adam and Eve) experienced the marvelous gift of having a body and soul exist in perfect harmony, living in a perfect union with our Father, but they gave into sin, and we lost that perfection after the Fall.
Now, our bodies and souls exist in conflict; our bodies crave things at times that are not good for our soul, while our soul may call our body to behave in ways we don’t want to (such as abstaining from sex before marriage) but are for our greater good, our salvation.
On a basic level, sure, having consistent orgasms in your life produces a wide range of benefits.
On a spiritual level, though, seeking out multiple sexual partners, and indulging in pornography and masturbation are disordered, unholy, and deeply harmful acts. We are called to be more than this.
“But where in the Bible does it say—”
It doesn’t. If you’re looking for a Bible verse that explicitly uses the word “masturbation” and condemns it, you’re not going to find one. The closest comprehensive verse I’ve found is Matthew 5:28-30.
This is where Jesus not only tells us that anyone who looks at a woman with lust has committed adultery in their hearts, but He also instructs us, “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away; it is better for you lose one of your members than your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you lose one of your members than your whole body go into hell.”
Of course, this is a parable, He’s not literally telling us to mutilate ourselves after sinning, but He is deeply emphasizing how serious sin is (especially sin that we consciously chose to indulge in, with our “right hand.”) He’s reminding us we must do all we can to avoid it, and take greater precautions in the future, should we end up falling to the temptations pushed before us in the present.
So, what are you supposed to do?
First, take a deep breath. You’re not the only one out there struggling with this. We live in the most hyper-sexual, sexually depraved era to have ever existed. Let that sink in for a second. No one else in history has faced a war against lust like we are right now. Lust has always existed — but not like this.
So, yes, it’s essential to understand the gravity of this sin, this battle, but also… give yourself some grace.
Not slack — grace. Seek out more grace. Know that nearly everyone, in some way, is in this battle.
And none of us can win it by ourselves; if you try to will your way out of temptation, you’ll find it usually doesn’t work. You can’t overcome this sin without the grace and strength and mercy of God.
On a practical level, this will look like prioritizing your prayer life. Instead of checking your phone first thing in the morning and scrolling until you fall asleep, replace that screen time with reading the Bible.
It will look like surrounding yourself with men and women of God, who are of strong and pure minds, mouths, and hearts; who are striving to be better themselves, and will inspire you to be better too.
It will look like sacrificing TV shows, movies, music artists, even social settings that you may really enjoy, but that glorify lust or normalize sexual immorality. A few things probably already came to your mind.
It will look like practicing self-discipline and self-control to master your flesh; follow through with your commitments, get up when your alarm goes off, move your body daily, fast once a week.
It will look like finding other healthy ways to channel your sexuality; it’s not meant to be suppressed or ignored, but given to God so He can purify it and give us proper mastery over it. This could be working out consistently, having go-to physical activities when you’re tempted; it could even be a prayer in the moment of temptation, “God, thank you for my sexuality, for this ambition, but please help me channel it properly now, to save it for my spouse, for my future marital intimacy.” The devil wants to distort your sexuality — he can’t do that if you consistently place it in God’s hands.
Don’t try to hide this from God — He already knows every embarrassing detail about this cross you’re carrying. He wants to help you carry it. Turn to Him. Run to Him. Let Him equip you for battle.
Resources for those actively in battle.
Restore the Glory — a podcast on sexual healing, hosted by two Christian psychotherapists.
Fight the New Drug — a science-based, all-in-one virtual platform for combatting pornography.
Reclaim Sexual Health — a Catholic, anonymous, 100% online recovery program.
Covenant Eyes — a filtration software rooted in accountability and community to support your detox.
Fortify — an app that provides teletherapy, coaching, and personally tailored guidance for recovery.
Strive21 — a Christian community of brothers committed to breaking free/staying free from pornography.
New Fruit — a free ebook for women struggling with pornography.
Final words of encouragement.
Whenever you feel guilty, even if it is because you have consciously committed a sin, a serious sin, something you have kept doing many, many times, never let the devil deceive you by allowing him to discourage you. Whenever you feel guilty, offer up all of that guilt to our Immaculate [God] without examining or over-analyzing it.
My beloved, may every fall, even if it is a serious and habitual sin, always become for us a small step toward a higher degree of perfection. The only reason why the Immaculate permits us to fall is to cure us from our own self-conceit, from our pride, to make us humble and thus open and willing to receiving His divine graces.
The devil, instead, tries to inject in us discouragement and internal depression in those circumstances, which is, in fact, nothing else than our pride surfacing yet again.
If we knew the depth of our poverty, we would not be at all surprised by our falls, but astonished, and we would thank God, after sinning, for not allowing us to fall even deeper and still more frequently into sin.–Maximilian Kolbe